姐妹们一定要看：Operah 谈关于男人

jade_in_dubai

深有感悟，翻译了来给姐妹们分享一下。特别是有欧美男朋友的，一定要看！！

（俺文笔粗糙，欢迎指正 ）

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away. If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay. Stop making excuses for a man and his behaviour. Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache.
如果男人爱恋你，千难万险也无法阻止他。如果他不恋你，没有任何事物能让他留步。不要为不在乎你男人和他的不良行为做辩护。 让你的直觉和心灵引导你走出痛苦。

Stop trying to change yourself for a relationship that's not meant to be. Slower is better. Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy. If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you deserve then heck no, you can't "be friends". A friend wouldn't mistreat a friend.
不要试图为了本来无缘的人改变自己。 感情的旅程中，漫步胜于急行。如果他无法让你感到无比幸福，就不要让你自己的生活整天围着他转。如果一段姻缘因为他无法好好对待你而结束，那就坚决地对他说：不，我们不能成为朋友。因为，朋友不会如你对我一般恶劣。

Don't settle. If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is. Don't stay because you think "it will get better." You'll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better. The only person you can control in a relationship is you. Avoid men who have a bunch of children by a bunch of different women. He didn't marry them when he got them pregnant, why would he treat you any differently? Always have your own set of friends separate from his. Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you. If something bothers you, speak up. Never let a man know everything. He will use it against you later.
千万不要将就。如果你感觉他只是拖着你，他多半就真是在拖着你。不要因为“一切应该会变好”的期望而留在他身边。明年，当一切没有改观，你会因为今天的止步不前而懊悔不迭。在感情中，你唯一能够真正掌控的只有你自己。回避那些有众多私生子女的男人，他没有娶她们，为何会娶你？一定要坚守你自己的朋友圈。绝对不要容忍他跨越你心中底线的行为。如果他的行为让你伤心，失落或是恼怒， 一定要直言不讳。但是不要告诉他你的一切。难保哪天他不会用你说的话讨伐你。

You cannot change a man's behavior. Change comes from within. Don't EVER make him feel he is more important than you are. Even if he has has more education or in a better job. Do not make him into a quasi-god. He is a man, nothing more nothing less. Never let a man define who you are. Never borrow someone else's man. If he cheated with you, he'll cheat on you. A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you. All men are NOT dogs.
你无法改变男人的行为。男人的改变只能来自他的内心愿望。永远不要让他感觉他比你更重要，无论他比你受过更高等的教育或者有更优越的工作。不要把他当成半个神仙供起来。他是一个男性的人类，不多啥也不少啥。永远不要借别人的男人。 如果他和你一起欺骗其他女人，他也会同样欺骗你。如果男人对你恶劣，那只是因为有你的默许。这方面，男人与狗基本一样。


You should not be the one doing all the bending... Compromise is two way street. You need time to heal between relationships. There is nothing cute about baggage... Deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship. You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you. A relationship consists of two WHOLE individuals. Look for someone complimentary...not supplementary.
不要成为总是在让步的一方，妥协应该是双方的。在两段感情之间休整一段时间。有感情负担的女人并不可爱。反思纠正你自身的问题以后再去寻找下一段感情吧。不要试图找个男人使你自己能够变得更完整。正常的感情要由两个本身完整的个体组成。找个能延伸你的人，不要找个补充你的。

Dating is fun... Even if he doesn't turn out to be Mr. Right. Make him miss you sometimes... When a man always know where you are, and you're always readily available to him ~ he takes it for granted. Never move into his mother's house. Never co-sign for a man. Don't fully commit to a man who doesn't give you everything that you need. Keep him in your radar but get to know others.
约会是令人快乐的… 即使那人不会成为你的 Mr. Right。时而给他玩个小失踪，让他留恋你吧… 当一个男人总知道你的行踪，知道你随叫随到 ~ 他会想当然地不珍惜你。 永远不要跟着他搬去他妈妈家住。永远不要代替他承担本来属于他的责任。除非他能完全满足你，不要给他你的承诺。你可以继续观察他，但是也要眼光开阔别处寻寻。

Scared of being alone is what makes a lot of women stay in relationships that are abusive or hurtful: Dr. Phil says... You should know that: You're the best thing that could ever happen to anyone and if a man mistreats you, he'll miss out on a good thing. If he was attracted to you in the 1st place, just know that he's not the only one. They're all watching you, so you have a lot of choices. Make the right one. Ladies take care of your own hearts...
某心理医生说：很多女性之所以留守在令她们痛苦和身心受虐的感情中是因为她们对寂寞的恐惧。你应该知道，能拥有你将是某个男人一生中最闪光的成就。如果一个男人不好好对待你，那是他的损失。如果他曾经被你吸引，你要相信他绝不是唯一一个被你吸引的男人。很多男人都观望着你，你有很多可选的。挑个适合你的。好好爱护你的心。